Grateful and thankful

Here I thought that with older siblings, life will be better with guidance and care~ But little did I know others with older siblings complained as well. I'm the eldest among siblings and even cousins which is why pressure on me is quite heavy. I got to live up to the expectations of families. Everything started from me. From going to kindergarten, primary school, secondary and now university. Even relationships are counted. But I fail miserably in relationships whether it's boy-girl, friends or elderly. I admit that my communication skills are not up to par. I do not express my gratefulness because I just do not know the best way to do it. Sometimes I felt so screwed. Mistakes here and there. I'm feeling really guilty for offending others without even meaning to. Sometimes even things you didn't do can hurt others. I'm thankful for my life arrangement to be the way it is now. The choice lies with me. If I screwed it then it's really my fault =( Hope I can get through and move on this time without screwing up =)